iFeel
by KamikazeeKennedy
Summary: Carly is confused about what's making her feel so strange lately. CarlyxSam, Cam fic. femslash :
1. iWonder

Chapter 1  
iWonder

_'Dear Diary,_

_Today was a long day. I didn't get much sleep last night. I had 2 pop quizzes today.. I think I passed one of them, but I'm not entirely sure of the other one. Freddie tried dropping hints to me again today that he wanted to go out with me. I tried my hardest to just play dumb, but eventually I had to let him down again. He's my best friend, but he just won't take 'no' for an answer. It's sweet and all, but it's starting to really get old. Tonight on iCarly we increased our viewers by 7, I think Freddie said. I don't really remember. My mind was a little too preoccupied with Sam. She just looked so pretty tonight that I could barely keep my eyes off of her. It's weird, really. Lately she's been the only person I've noticed. I'm sure it doesn't mean anything though. I really need to do my homework now. Goodnight, diary._

_-Carly Shay'_

It was close to 9:30pm whenever Carly finally got around to doing her homework. The show had run a little later than usual, and Sam and Freddie stayed over about an hour longer than they usually do. After about thirty minutes of ridiculous math homework, Carly finally gave up and closed her book and decided to get some sleep.

--

The bell rang for school to let out. It was Friday an everyone was excited for the weekend. Sam and Freddie were standing by their lockers waiting for Carly.

"Dweeb, she's not going to go out with you. You can just hang it up." Sam said to Freddie. He slumped against his locked with a semi-sad look. "Aww, cheer up. Maybe there is someone who would appreciate how much of a loser you are."

"You aren't helping. Why do you have to be so mean to me?" Freddie spouted back at her.

"It makes my life less boring." Sam laughed. Carly casually appeared around the corner making her entrance.

"Hey, guys." Carly smiled.

"Tell Sam to stop being so mean to me." Freddie said.

"Tell Sam to stop being so mean to me. Suck it up, loser." Sam mocked. Carly gave Sam a 'cut-it-out' kind of look. Sam merely grinned.

"Hey, Sam do you want t come over tonight? Spencer is staying with a friend of his and I want you to come over so I'm not alone." Carly inquired.

"Sure. It's better than staying at home and listening to my mom yell at the cat about jobs." Sam laughed.

"She's still yelling at the cat to get a job?" Carly asked. The three were laughing.

"Your mom is crazy." Freddie said. He was then shot an evil look from Sam.

"Did I say you could join this convo?" Freddie backed up a few steps.

"Um, I think I'm gonna go… my mom wants me home early. Bye, guys." Freddie walked away after Carly said 'bye.'

"So, Spencer really isn't going to be there tonight?" Sam asked.

"Really. It'll just be us." Carly smiled.

"Sweet. What are we going to do tonight though?" Sam wondered.

"I don't know. Watch movies, goof-off, and order pizza?" Carly suggested.

"Sounds good to me." Sam grinned at the simple thought of pizza. Carly's eyes embraced Sam for a moment, noticing the slight messiness of her curly hair, her casual tom-boy-ish looks. Her eyes seemed to sparkle a little more than usual today though. Her lips looked a little chapped as usual, but still looking soft as ever. She looked beautiful today.

The two girls proceeded to go to Carly's house, but stopping at Sam's house on the way.

--

"Hey, mom, I'm staying at Carly's house tonight." Sam yelled to her mother as she entered her bedroom. Sam grabbed her book-bag net to her bed and filled it with clothes and things she may need for tonight.

"Okay, dear." Sam's mom yelled to Sam. She then continued to yell at the cat. "You stupid cat. You're so lazy! You know what… I'm not paying for your food anymore… I've had enough of this. All you ever do is eat, sleep, scratch up my furniture, and use the litter box. Well, no more! You can just get a job and pay your own bills." Carly and Sam looked at each other and laughed. Sam grabbed her bag and the two started to leave.

"Bye, mom!" Sam yelled upon exiting the house behind her best friend.

"Bye, dear!" Sam's mom immediately went back to yelling at the cat.

"So, is your mom always like that with the cat?" Carly wondered.

"Unfortunately." Sam laughed. "I'm pretty sure my cat has low self-esteem because of her." Both girls started laughing louder. Whenever they reached Carly's apartment, the door was swiftly unlocked. The two girls entered and relocked the door.

"They both released their bags near the front entrance at the door. It was almost 4:00pm. Both girls headed over to the kitchen and grabbed two bottles of water.

"So, what do you want to do now?" Carly asked, sipping her water.

"I don't know. T.V. upstairs?" Sam shrugged.

"Sounds good." The two headed upstairs.

--

Around 10:30pm both girls were laying on Carly's bed, stuffed with pizza and watching the ending of a movie. Sam lay on Carly's bed with her feet at the pillows. Carly sat upright positioned against her headboard. The movie went off.

Sam spun her body around and rested her head on Carly's leg. Carly immediately began stroking Sam's blond hair. A smile crept on Sam's face. The TV continued to the next movie. The girls both drowned the sound of the idiot box out.

"That was a good movie." Carly said gently.

"Yeah. Not bad at all." Sam stretched her arm and laid her hand beside her face on Carly's leg. Sam took a few deep breaths, relaxing to Carly's touch. "I love you, Carly." Sam said very calmly.

"I love you, too, Sam." Carly smiled even though Sam couldn't see her. Carly yawned.

"Tired?" Sam asked, not wanting to move or for Carly to stop rubbing her hair.

"A little bit. I'm not ready for bed yet though." She answered.

"Yeah, same here." Sam responded. "Hey, Carly?"

"Yeah, Sam?" She wondered.

"I think I like someone, but I don't know if I should tell her or not." Carly was so tired that she didn't even register that Sam had said 'her'.

"Well, if you think they like you, too… you should tell them." Carl y yawned again.

"Yeah, probably. You know… on second thought, I think I am ready for bed." Sam repositioned herself under the covers and laid on her back. Carly did the same. It began to rain outside. Within seconds, thunder and lightning could be heard and seen outside. Carly cringed. "Come here."

"What?" Sam pulled Carly close to her. Carly soon fell asleep to the sound of Sam's heartbeat. Sam fell asleep with her arms around Carly.

--

Disclaimer: I do not own iCarly.. I'm just a fanfic writer :

AN -- Hope you enjoy!


	2. iThink

iFeel

Chapter 2  
iThink

'_Dear Diary,_

_Sam stayed here last night. Spencer stayed with one of his friends. Sam and I had a lot of fun. I love spending my quality time with her. Sam said she liked someone last night. I wonder who he is? Must be some lucky guy.. I guess. It makes me kind of sad though.. what if she tells this guy and they start dating? I don't wanna lose my best friend to some doof. Maybe I'm just overreacting. I guess I'll just support her no matter what. I mean, she is my best friend after all. Well, Sam and I are supposed to go meet Freddie for smoothies in an hour so I should probably get ready. I wonder if she'll tell me who the guy is.. or do I even want to know? I'm over thinking this. I'll write more later._

_-Carly Shay'_

_--_

Sam and Freddie were already together sipping on their smoothies by the time Carly finally made it. Somehow Carly was always the last to join the group. Carly sat down beside Sam at a tall, circular table in the restaurant they were at.

"Hey." Sam and Freddie said.

"Hey." Carly smiled at both of them, noticing that they had already gotten her a smoothie that she sat down in front of. "Thanks, guys." They both nodded their heads.

"So, how was the sleepover last night?" Freddie asked. "Did you guys hear that thunder storm? It knocked out the power around 11.

"Oh, I think we both had fallen asleep by then." Carly answered.

"We heard it though. That sucker was pretty loud and obnoxious. I slept right through it though." Sam shrugged, directing her attention back to her smoothie. Freddie looked at her and shook his head.

"That storm sucked. When the power went out, my mom came in my room freaking out." Freddie shrugged his shoulders. "That woman really does have problems."

"Yours and mine both." Sam agreed. The three shared a light laugh.

"So what should we do on iCarly next week?" Freddie asked.

"I don't know. Strangely, I haven't been able to come up with anything creative this week." Carly said. She looked down at her smoothie and began tracing along the inside of the cup with the straw.

"Is something wrong?" Sam asked, still devoting most of her attention to her smoothie that was almost gone. In the corner of her eyes she watched Carly. She saw Carly's straight brown hair slowly slide off of her shoulders and in front of her face. She could see her lips shining from just being lick to remove any excess smoothie that didn't quite make it into her stomach.

"I don't know." Carly shrugged. "I think I've just been a little distracted this week. I can't really explain it." She stopped playing with her drink and gathered her thoughts for a moment. "Can we talk about something else? I'm not really in the mood to talk about iCarly right now." Her mood faded downhill a bit, but neither Sam nor Freddie seemed to catch the picture.

"Um, well-" Freddie started.

"Nobody cares." Sam shot. Then she smiled. "I'm just kidding. Go ahead, dweeb." Freddie slightly narrowed his eyes at Sam, then continued to speak.

"My mom is actually taking me to get my license next week." Freddie finished.

"Oh, wow. That's great." Carly smiled.

"You mean your mom isn't like.. freaking out that you might get into a car accident and die or something?" Sam said sarcastically.

"I know, really. I'm shocked, too. I didn't think she would let me get them until I was 18, but I guess I was wrong. I'm glad I'm getting them at 16." Freddie smiled. Even though Freddie had turned 16, unlike all of the other sophomores at his school, facial hair seemed to be afraid of him. It just wouldn't seem to grow. Freddie didn't seem to mind though. That was just one less thing he had to hear his mom freaking out about.

"Great. When you get your license you get to be our taxi driver." Sam laughed, teasing Freddie once more. Freddie just looked and rolled his eyes. Carly, on the other hand, had kind of faded off into a minor daze, but quickly brought herself out of it.

"So, what are you going to do whenever you get your license?" Carly asked Freddie, trying to rejoin into the conversation she spaced out of.

"I don't know. I was actually thinking about asking out this girl that sits in front of me in my math class. She's really pretty and we always work together when we have to do partner work. She seems really nice." Freddie grinned a bit and looked down at the table. He was almost completely over Carly, or at least he was making any and all attempts to be over her. They seemed to be working. After so long of being rejected, he finally just gave up.

Carly's mind went straight back to the diary entry she had written earlier. Wondering who the person Sam was crushing on was. Still not knowing why she wanted to know so much, she still wasn't sure if she wanted to ask. Carly glanced back and forth at Sam for a second or two throughout her thoughts. She was sitting close enough to her that she could almost feel the heat coming off of her body, and smelling what seemed like a waterfall scented shampoo in her hair. Her blue eyes were extra sparkly in the lightning.

"Oh yeah, who's the chick?" Sam wondered. "Is she as much of a dork as you?" Sam gave Freddie a mocking look.

"Her name is Autumn. And she's not a dork. And neither am I. You're just mean." Freddie stood up for himself and his hopefully soon-to-be girlfriend. Sam just chuckled under her breath.

"At least I always have entertainment being mean." Sam stood up to go throw away her trash. "Yo, Carls, you still on planet Earth?" Sam waved her hand in front of Carly's face.

"Yeah, I'm still here. Sorry, just having a hard time concentrating for some reason." Carly shook her head. After Carly managed to keep herself focused on the conversation, they three continued to talk for an additional thirty minutes before departing their separate ways.

--

_Dear Diary,_

_I feel weird right now. I don't really know why. It feels like something is bothering me, but I just can't put my finger on it. While I was with Sam and Freddie earlier.. I don't know, I just seemed distracted and talking about iCarly kinda.. I don't know. I just feel weird for some reason. Maybe I just need a break or something. I've been taking on a lot lately with school and iCarly and my friends. Maybe I just need a break. That's probably it. I'll just stay home tonight and spend some quality time with myself. Then whenever Monday rolls around, I should be alright. Maybe that's all I need is some alone time. _

_On another note, I'm glad Freddie is finally getting over me. I mean, he is sweet and all, but.. I don't know I guess I'm just not attracted to him the way he wishes I was. Maybe I'm just being ridiculous. I guess I just see him as just a friend though. He has gotten handsome though over the last few years. I'll give him credit for that. Still though, I guess I'll always just see him as a best friend. It makes me kinda happy that he actually met someone else to preoccupy his mind other than me._

_And Sam. I'm okay with Freddie dating.. but Sam dating someone.. it just seems a little weird for me. Not because it's Sam.. okay, well, maybe because it's Sam, but.. I think I just like her the way she is.. ya know.. single? And completely mine.. as a best friend of course. I don't ever want to share her. Of course.. she does like someone.. I think I'm being selfish. I wish I could just somehow.. get over it? But I guess if it wasn't important to me then I wouldn't even be thinking about it. Of course for all I know she may never even get with this mystery person. I guess I'll just have to brace myself for if she does._

_-Carly Shay_

**AN: Hope you guys enjoyed the update. I'll have more up soon. Thanks for the reviews I've gotten so far! :**


	3. iSaw

iFeel

Chapter 3  
iSaw

Monday morning reared its ugly head into Carly's agenda. It was a gloomy morning outside. It was slightly foggy and raining. There was a calm breeze outside, but still led it to be slightly chilly. Even after her alone time she had with herself Saturday and most of Sunday, Carly still couldn't seem to lose the strange feeling that possessed her.

The day managed to fly by quickly for Carly. Sadly though, she had a long report she needed to start on that she neglected to do over the weekend. As the bell rang for school to let out, Carly made her way to her locker to swap out her books, taking the ones she needed home and leaving the others behind. Strangely, neither Freddie nor Sam was waiting at her locker today. Carly figured that Freddie was probably with that girl he seemed to like from math class. Sam, she wasn't so sure about. _Maybe she's with that guy?_ Carly shrugged off the thought and decided to go ahead and head home.

Whenever she got home Spencer was in the kitchen making another sculpture, this time out of cookies. The apartment smelled sweetly of chocolate chips, sugar, and peanut butter. Carly lay her books down on the table in front of the couch and walked into the kitchen to view Spencer's latest creation.

"Hey, Spencer. What'cha making?" Carly sat her elbows on the counter and peered down at the cookie formation.

"I decided to make a giant smiley face cookie for you since you seemed a bit down yesterday." Spencer broke his focus on the giant cookie and looked up and smiled at Carly. Carly smiled at his sentimentality.

"That's sweet, Spencer. Thank you." She said. Spencer looked back down at the cookie and regained his focus while still holding the conversation.

"So what was bothering you yesterday? Do you want to talk about it?" Spencer asked. He began coloring the cookie with various icings to give it the actual affect of a smiley face.

"I don't know, Spencer. I've been trying to figure it out all weekend. I wish I knew what it was. Something is just making feel really strange. I can't seem to figure out what though." Carly lost half of her smile and her voice dropped a little.

"Something to do with your friends maybe?" Spencer wondered. "Or maybe high school?"

"I don't know. Nothing actually happened this weekend. I mean, Freddie was talking about asking this girl in his math class out and Sam told me she liked someone, but didn't say who. School has been going the same. No more stress from it than usual." Carly replied.

"Does it bother you that Freddie might have a new girlfriend?" Spencer thought he may be on to something.

"Not at all, actually. I'm perfectly fine with it. It just means that he will be less obsessed with me. I feel bad always turning him down. I don't think Freddie is the problem." Carly shrugged.

"Well, how about Sam? Does it for some reason bother you that she's taken an interest in someone?" Spencer stopped working on the cookie for a minute.

"I don't really know. I mean, I guess it kinda does because she is my best friend. I don't really want to share her with anyone else because I've always thought of her as just mine. At the same time though, I think I'm being selfish from trying to keep her away from someone she likes." Carly's smile completely faded away.

"Have you told her that?" Spencer pulled another jar of icing out of the refrigerator and began coloring another section of the cookie.

"No. I don't think I will either. I want to see her happy, I just don't want to lose her at the same time. I don't want to make her mad by my selfishness. Ya know?" Carly sighed. "But I don't know if Sam is my actual reason for feeling so weird though. I mean, she's dated other people before and I was okay with it, but now for some reason… I'm just suddenly not?" Carly sounded very confused.

"Hmm, I think I see your point. Well, you could always just wait and see how things turn out. If you really don't want Sam to take a chance with this person, maybe you should just tell her that. But if you decide not to, maybe the feeling will just pass. It's high school, Carly. Everything is confusing during high school. Even something as strange as the unknown way you're feeling. Just give it a little bit of time." Spencer walked around the counter to hug his sister.

"Thanks, Spencer. That really helps. You're the best brother in the world." Carly's smile came back, but only for a moment. Her arms returned the embrace her brother started.

"Listen. If you need anything, I'm always here to listen and help. That's what big brothers are for. Okay?" He shot her a big smile. "Now, are you ready for some of my giant happy cookie?" His voice pepped up to make Carly laugh. He succeeded.

"You bet." Carly grabbed two glasses and filled them with milk as Spencer cut the big smiley into chunks. The two began to munch down on the cookie, savoring its delicious flavor. After Carly finished her piece of the cookie, she went upstairs to get started on her homework.

--

Although it was still raining outside, Sam decided to take a walk through the rain to her favor place to relax when she didn't want to be around anyone. Roughly half a mile from her apartment was a bridge she always went to for relaxation.

She climbed over the railing that prevented cars from crossing the bridge and took a seat in a cozy cubby hole that overlooked a creek beneath her. The waters were a little rough because of the rain and the breeze, but nonetheless it was peaceful as ever. There were no nearby children screaming, breaking her out of her peaceful thoughts. Sam took in a few deep breaths, inhaling as much of the calming scent of rain that she could. She leaned back against a piece of wall and lifted her legs and placed her arms around them, sitting in an upright fetal position. For a few minutes she just stared out into the water. No thoughts raced through her mind except for the ones that included the sound of the water and the feel of the oncoming wind. Although she was wearing a jacket, she could still feel the goose bumps from the cold air sprouting up on her arms.

_I wonder if I should tell Carly that she's the one I like? I don't even think she heard me give her the hint that I like a girl. I don't know how she would take it. I mean she was okay with Jeremy the little sneezy coming out of the closet, but then again, we aren't actually friends with him. I'm her best friend. Another girl who likes her._

Sam's thoughts wandered back and forth on whether or not she should tell Carly. She loosened up her grip around her legs and relaxed her body.

_What if she freaks out? I know there's no way she can possibly suspect it right now since I seem so immune to emotion around her. Unlike Freddie, I don't make my feelings obvious. I think I might scare her if I did. Of course, if I did tell her… maybe she'll just let me down easy like she does Freddie if she doesn't feel the same way. That would be okay, wouldn't it? But would we still be best friends? As much as I want to tell her, I think I value our friendship the way it is than to risk losing it completely._

The rain started pouring down harder. Sam returned to her previous position to avoid the oncoming wind chill.

_Friday night was so nice. I thank the great whatever for letting it rain and thunder when we decided to go to bed. I got to sleep with Carly wrapped up in my arms and her head gently placed on my chest. I wonder if she noticed that she made my heart beat a little faster, but also made me sleep a lot better than I normally do. I wonder if she slept as well as I did. I wonder._

Sam looked down at her hands. Her eyes inspected every curve, line, or break in the skin that was visible to the human eye. Sam's mind continued to drift through thoughts.

_I wish I would have stayed after school to see her today. I wonder what is bothering her. She seemed to be fine Friday night. Saturday though… something just didn't set right with her. I wish she would tell me what it is. I mean, I am her best friend and all. I guess she'll tell me when she's ready. And I guess I will tell her what I need to tell her when I'm ready. But I don't think right now… I don't think I'm ready at all._

--

After Carly finished her homework she lay down her bed to watch TV. She flipped through probably 100 before giving up and just leaving it on a random channel. She studied the TV for a moment, watching the characters shuffle around in his or her blue or pink outfit. It took a few minutes, but she realized that she was watching a movie about what seemed to be a gay rehab type of place called "True Directions".

She sat and watched about 30 or minutes of the movie seeing as there was nothing else on. Until a scene came on that caught her a little off guard. A girl walked out of a bar angry and sat down on a nearby crate. Quickly behind her came another girl wondering why she left. The two began to raise their voices at each other and out of nowhere just kissed. Carly's eyes froze on the two girls lip-lock. She wasn't entirely sure what to think about it. The scene quickly ended.

She debated on whether or not she should change the channel or leave it and finish the movie. She decided to just leave it. After all, it's just a movie.

**AN – woohoo! I got 2 chapters up tonight. I know they're short.. but I'm ADD and I think in short chapters. Haha. Oh, if you're wanting to know what movie she was watching.. it was "But I'm a Cheerleader." That's the movie that made me realize I was gay. Haha. Anyway.. ENJOY!! (oh, and thank you KFD, your reviews are inspiring me!)**


	4. iDream

iFeel

Chapter 4  
iDream

_Dear Diary,_

_Until a few nights ago I had never really thought about some things. I watched a movie that kind of opened my mind up a bit to something I'm completely unfamiliar with. The gay side of the world. I don't really know why I'm writing about this though. I'm not gay. I've never been with another girl, so I can't be. I'm having a sleepover tomorrow night. Sam, Christina, Jordyn, Kayla, and Hanna are coming over. I can't wait. I've been kinda bummed out all week so this should cheer me up. I'm not really sure why, but Sam hasn't really talked to me very much this week. I guess she's just been busy? I can't wait to get to spend some time with her tomorrow. I really miss her. The most I've seen her was during iCarly this week. I've even seen Freddie more this week, and I figured after he got his license two days ago he'd be all over Autumn._

_Well, I hope tomorrow breaks me out of this mood I can't seem to shake. At least I'll be with my best friend._

_-Carly Shay_

_--_

_Carly was running through the woods. The fog sealed the sky and ground together. She couldn't see hardly anything. To her advantage there was a full moon out. Behind her she could hear something chasing her, but she couldn't quite figure out what. _

_The trees were pitch black all around her. She could feel her heart pounding in her throat. She wanted to scream, but couldn't. She saw an opening in the forest for her to make her escape. No matter how fast she ran though, she couldn't seem to get out of the woods. Her legs wanted to give out, as well as her lungs. She pushed herself to keep running though._

_Finally, she couldn't run anymore. She began slowing down, her body giving out. Then she felt a hand grab her arm and pull her toward the exit._

"_Don't stop, it's almost over." She heard the voice say. Although Carly could not see the person, the voice sounded familiar to her. Strangely, she could feel all of her energy regaining and began to run at full speed again._

_Still behind her was the unknown danger that continue to chase her. It had started to run faster towards her, but Carly managed to run faster. Then she was there, the opening was in reach. She jumped over the log that prevented her from a smooth getaway. Her for got caught on something while in flight. Her body began falling to the ground, but just before it touched the arms of the voice she had heard caught her and carried her to safety._

_The danger in the woods suddenly disappeared without warning. Carly was laid down on the ground, but somehow wasn't out of breath. Slowly, she sat up and was met face-to-face with the blurred image of the unknown voice. Carly could feel a hand gently tracing the side of her face. Then she heard it whisper._

"_Don't be afraid. Please don't run." The image became clear as well as the voice. It was Sam._

--

Carly shot up in her bed, sweat developing on her forehead. Although she wasn't out of breath in her dream, she seemed to be now. Carly crossed her legs and held her face in her hands. After a moment or so, she calmed down. Of course, now she didn't want to go back to sleep. She had fallen asleep early, it was only 10:00. She decided to call Sam to get her to fully calm down.

She reached onto her nightstand and picked up her cell phone and dialed Sam's number. She knew she would still be awake.

"Hello?" Sam said, fully awake.

"Hey, Sam. You weren't sleeping were you?" Carly asked.

"No, I tried sleeping but I couldn't. Are you okay? You sound like you've just ran a marathon." Sam inquired, sitting up in her bed to talk to Carly.

"I just had a really bad dream and it freaked me out." Carly took a deep breath.

"Oh, what happened in it? Are you okay?" Sam sympathetically said.

"I was running through these really dark woods and something was chasing me and-" Carly stopped for a moment remembering what had happened in her dream and deciding not to tell Sam about the rest.

"And what?" Sam wondered.

"It just scared me. A lot. I'm still a little freaked out." Carly uncovered herself and stood up to walk around her room for a minute.

"I'm sorry, Carls. Do you… I don't know, want me to come over there with you for the night?" Sam offered. Carly thought to herself for a moment before she responded.

"Would you?" Carly said. She didn't think she would get any sleep if she tried going back to sleep alone.

"Yeah, it's no prob. I'll be over in a minute, okay?"

"Okay, thank you Sam." Carly hung up. Sam got out of bed and grabbed her clothes for school in the morning along with her book bag. She grabbed a piece of paper and scribbled on it 'Carly was having nightmares. Went to stay at her house. –Love Sam.' She left the sheet of paper on the counter in the kitchen next to the cat.

She quietly left her apartment and made her way to Carly's. Carly met Sam at the door, opening it quietly and closing and locking it after the blond girl entered. Sam sat her stuff down on the couch and opened her arms to hug Carly. Carly didn't hesitate to return the hug. The two stood in the living room for almost a minute not wanting to let go of the other one.

"Thank you for coming over, Sam." Carly whispered in Sam's ear.

"You're welcome, Carls." Sam whispered back. Sam kissed Carly on the cheek. "Don't worry. Your best friend is here now. No more nightmares." Sam pulled back from the hug, allowing her hands to slide down Carly's arms, ending in the position of holding her hands. Sam squeezed Carly's hands and gave her a friendly smile. Carly returned the smile. Sam let go of her hands. "We should probably get to bed though… it's getting kinda late and I don't know about you, but I'm really tired." Carly nodded in agreement.

The two girls quietly made their way up the stairs as not to wake up Spencer. The entered Carly's room and slipped into her bed.

"Do you remember how we slept last Friday? When it was storming outside?" Carly quietly asked.

"Yes." Sam gently responded.

"Can we sleep like that again?" Carly looked down at Sam who was already lying down. Sam nodded. Carly leaned down and placed her head on Sam's chest. Sam's arms found their way around Carly, embracing her like they managed to a week ago. Like last time, Carly fell asleep to the sound of Sam's heartbeat, and Sam fell asleep with her arms around Carly.

--

_Carly's nightmare dream came back. Except this time, even though she was running, there was nothing chasing her. There was no fog this time either. It just seemed like she was running, but she wasn't sure where to. _

_Through most of her dream, she found herself just aimlessly running. Then she figured out why she was running. This time instead of being chased, she was chasing someone. She wasn't afraid this time, just a little confused. She ran faster after the mysterious person ahead of her. She seemed to be running all night, but it wasn't as long as she thought. _

_She ran through some strange building, still following the unknown person. She couldn't see much. Everything was a blur to her until she finally reached her destination._

"_Carly." The voice said to her._

"_Yes?" Carly slowly walked, following the trailing voice._

"_Follow me, Carly." It said._

"_Where are you?" She asked. A figured stepped out in front of her. It reached out its hand for Carly to take. She complied. "Where are we going?" _

"_Shh. Just come with me." Carly asked no more question. They walked through a few rooms and up a flight of stairs or two. Finally, they walked outside of the building onto a balcony that overlooked the ocean. "Carly, I know what's going on. You say you wanted more, well… what are you waiting for? I'm not running from you." _

_Carly still couldn't see who the figure was, but knew that she had to find out._

--

Carly's radio alarm went off. She woke up just in time to catch part of a favorite song of hers. She was still lying down. All night, neither she nor Sam moved.

"_You say you wanted more, what are you waiting for… I'm not running from you."_

Carly leaned over and turned off her alarm. Sam was still peacefully sleeping. Carly slowly sat up in her bed, looking down at how beautiful Sam looked while she slept. She reached her hand for her shoulder and gently shook her.

"Sam?" Carly spoke. "Sam, wake up. We have to go to school." Sam stirred a little. Her arms raised above her head to stretch. She yawned in the process. "Good morning."

"Good morning to you, too." Sam smiled at her. "Anymore nightmares?" She asked while yawning. Carly shrugged her head.

"No more nightmares." Carly smiled.

"See, I told you. I'm the anti-nightmare charm." Sam made a light chuckle.

"Yes, you are." Carly agreed. After a few more moments of lying on the bed, both girls finally got up and got ready for school.

**AN – soo, I hope you guys are happy with the update :) With the way I seem to be writing this.. if I keep it up this story will be finished by this weekend. Haha. Anyway.. thanks for the reviews!! By the way.. the song is "The Kill" by 30 Seconds to Mars.  
**


	5. iDare

iFeel

Chapter 5  
iDare

Freddie was excited about it being Friday. He had a date with Autumn tonight. For once in his life, his mom wasn't breathing down his neck about every little thing. He finally told his mom that he was too old for a lot of the things he was used to. Finally, even though she didn't like it, she learned to respect his wishes.

He and Autumn had planned to go out to eat and to see a movie. The classic date. The movie selection wasn't definite yet, so they decided to just pick a movie whenever they arrived.

--

_Dear Diary,_

_The sleepover is tonight. I'm excited! It's been a long time since I've had a sleepover with more than just Sam. I hope tonight is as fun as I've been hoping it would be. I could really use some fun! ___

_Sam stayed here last night. I called her at 10:00 because I was having nightmares. I'm glad she is my best friend. I don't know of anyone else that would have come over for a friend just because they were having nightmares. My dreams were so weird last night though. I kept dreaming I was running from something. It was scary. The first dream, I mean. I was in these really dark and foggy woods. There was something chasing me… I never saw it though. Sam was in my dream. While I was running, when I felt like giving up… she came and saved me and somehow whenever she touched me, I felt the need to keep running. _

_Whenever I was almost out of the forest, I tripped and Sam caught me and carried me out of the woods. I couldn't see Sam until the end of the dream, but I know it was her now. Right before I woke up, I remember her saying something… "Don't be afraid. Please don't run." I think that's what she said. I wonder what that's supposed to mean._

_When we went to bed we decided to snuggle like we did last week… because I was still kinda scared and she makes me not feel scared. Whenever I fell back asleep… I had another dream, I was running again, but this time… I wasn't being chased… I was chasing someone. I couldn't figure out who it was though. I don't remember much of this dream. I remember someone taking me to see the view of the ocean… and them saying "You say you wanted more. Well, what are you waiting for? I'm not running from you." I think I could have just been hearing my radio because that is what was playing whenever I got up. But it sounded so familiar, and it wasn't being sung. I'm not really sure._

_I think I hear the doorbell. Time for the sleepover!_

_-Carly Shay_

Around 6:00 the girls began arriving at Carly's house. First it was Christina, then Jordyn, Hanna, Kayla, and last was Sam. Each was girl managed to arrive about five or so minutes later than the previous girl. Spencer decided to stay at his friend's house again so Carly and her friends could have the apartment to themselves. After everyone was there and got settled, the girls decided to go up to the iCarly studio to "get their party started".

Carly looked at the clock. It was almost 7:30. She left the group for a few moments and walked downstairs to make the most important phone call of the night. Pizza. Sam decided to come downstairs a few moments after Carly left. The blond girl took a seat at the counter and waited for Carly to get off of the phone. The phone clicked back onto the base after she hung up.

"So, are you feeling any better from last night?" Sam asked.

"Yeah. When I went back to sleep I didn't have any more bad dreams… just… " Carly stopped for a moment.

"Just what, Carls?" Sam got up off the stool.

"I don't know. I dreamt I was chasing someone… but I couldn't figure out who. It's very confusing. Someone said something to me… and I got lead somewhere whenever I finally caught up to the person I couldn't see… it's very confusing." Carly shrugged. Sam walked over to Carly to hug her.

"Well, at least you weren't being chased by the big evil scary thing… or whatever it was." Sam put her arms around Carly to hug her best friend. Carly returned the embrace. They both pulled back and smiled.

"Come on, let's get back up there." Carly linked her arm with one of Sam's.

"I-I Cap'n." Sam joked. The two then walked up the stairs together.

After various conversations filled with gossip, eating pizza, and just randomly goofing off, one of the girls decided they should play a game since the night was slowly going dull. It was now getting later in the night. Somehow, Jordyn had managed to bring a couple of 6-packs of Smirnoff for them to all sip on. Since Jordyn was the only one out of all of the girls to have ever drank, she decided to bring weak alcohol as opposed to something stronger.

The game decided was Truth or Dare. Each girl got a Smirnoff and the game began.

"Okay, quick ground rules. If you pick truth, you have to answer the question. If you pick dare you have to do the dare. No nudity or sexual activity past second base is allowed. Other than that… everything goes. I'll start." Jordyn said. "Christina, truth or dare?"

"I'm scared of you, so truth." She gave a small laugh.

"Alright, if you could bang anyone in the world right now, who would it be?" Jordyn inquired.

"Uh. Johnny Depp?" She said shrugging her shoulders.

"Pfft. LAME!" Sam teased.

"Okay then. Sam, truth or dare?" Christina crossed her arms.

"Dare." Sam crossed her arms and gave Christina a mocking smirk. The rest of the girls drank a right much of their drinks while trying not to laugh.

"I dare you to…" she looked around the room for the perfect dare. "I dare you to kiss Jordyn." Sam laughed.

"Oh god, what a horrible dare." Sam leaned over and kissed Jordyn on the cheek. "Ha ha. You forgot to say where." Christina squinted her eyes and smiled a devious smile. The group laughed.

"You just wait." She laughed.

"I'll do that. Um, Kayla, truth or dare?"

"I think I'll go with truth. I don't wanna kiss any girls." She smiled.

"Alright then. How many guys have you ever kissed?" Sam cleverly asked.

"Like… maybe… 6?" She shrugged. Carly was drinking her Smirnoff really slow compared to the rest of the group that was almost onto the second drink.

"Carly, truth or dare?" Kayla asked.

"Dare." She prepared herself. She didn't think Kayla would make her do anything with another girl, especially if she didn't even want to kiss a girl herself.

"I dare you to give Sam a lap dance." Carly's eyes widened so far they almost fell out of her head.

"I have to w-what?" Carly said, slightly embarrassed.

"You heard me. Give. Sam. A. Lap. Dance." She grinned, knowing she was going to be bitten by this later with a dare from someone.

"B-but-" Carly started.

"Hey, you've got to. That's the rules. It's not so bad… at least I'm your best friend." Sam was turning the brightest shade of red ever known to be seen by humans. Luckily, no one really noticed. They were all focused on Carly. Carly took a deep breath.

"Uh. I don't know how." Carly said quickly. They laughed a little.

"It's easy. Just straddle her lap… and dance like you would in the car or something. I just said a lap dance. It doesn't have to be professional quality." Kayla said. Carly drank the rest of her Smirnoff very, very quickly. She stood up, walked a few feet over to Sam and straddled her. Sam looked into Carly's eyes to see a massive amount of confusion and embarrassment. She also saw something else, but she couldn't quite figure out what it is.

"Just dance like it's just you and me." Sam whispered so only she could hear. Carly smiled and slightly nodded. One of the girls hit the switch on the radio to give Carly some music. The lap dance began. Carly moved her body up and down a little and left and right. Her hips moved on top of Sam like she's never moved them before. Her hands slid up and down Sam's shoulders, and eventually made their way into her own hair. After about a minute of the lap dance, Carly stopped moving, got off Sam and the radio was silence. Everyone began to clap.

"Wow, for a first timer… that was a really great lap dance." Hanna said to her. Sam smiled at Carly, whose face had finally erased the red.

"Alright, Hanna. Truth or dare?" Carly grabbed another drink.

"I'll go with dare." She said.

"Um. Blow a raspberry on Christina's stomach." Christina started laughing. Hanna crawled across the floor, pushed Christina on her back and lifted her shift. She started laughing for a moment before she leaned down and pressed her lips against Christina's stomach and blew until it tickled her.

"Jordyn, truth or dare?" Hanna asked while moving back to her seat.

"Hmm, I'll do truth this time."

"Okay. This will be easy. Are you gay?" Hanna laughed.

"Duh." Jordyn said. Sam made a spit-take. The group was in shock for about 30 seconds. "What?" Everyone just started laughing since they already knew the answer before the question was even asked.

About one hour and three rounds of drinks later, the girls all decided they were getting really tired. The sleeping arrangements were made. Sam and Carly were sleeping in Carly's room and the other girls were crashing in their sleeping bags in the studio.

Carly and Sam made their way into Carly's bed. Neither of them were tired enough to sleep though. Carly and Sam were both feeling tipsy, but not enough to make them have too bad of mobility issues. Sam laid against the headboard of Carly's bed. Carly laid her head on her pillow, facing Sam.

"Carls?" Sam started.

"Yeah, Sam?" Sam took a deep breath. "Sam?" Carly started to lean up only to be pushed back down onto the bed by Sam. Sam lips were quickly pressed against Carly's. At first Carly didn't return the kiss, but after a few seconds her hand was on Sam's waist pulling her closer. The kiss became very passionate and intense. Each girl began exploring the depths of the others mouth. Carly bit Sam's lip which caused Sam to pin Carly down and climb on top of her.

Sam broke the kiss, continuing on to Carly's jaw line and ending on her neck. Her teeth sank down into Carly's neck causing the brunette the make a quiet moan. Sam kissed back up Carly's neck to her lips. Carly was slowly pulled up during the kiss, allowing Sam to remove Carly's shirt. In return of Carly losing her shirt Sam's shirt immediately accompanied Carly's shirt on the floor.

Sam's lips pressed against every inch of Carly's chest area. Her hand ran along the side of the brunette's stomach, causing her to shiver a little to the touch. Sam kissed Carly once more as her hand drifted down to Carly's pants.

"Sam… what are-" Carly's breathing was very shallow.

"Shh." Sam brought Carly into a deep kiss. Sam's hand dove down into Carly's pajama pants. Her hand made its way into the final destination and began diving in and out as quickly or slowly as Carly breathed. Carly's hands reached around to Sam's back, digging her nails into her skin. Sam's fingers curled as needed and wanted. Carly's mind dove into bliss as she reached her climax. Upon release, Carly pulled Sam down on top of her, kissing her softly. After a few moments of gentle kisses, Sam lowered herself beside of Carly and laid down.

Carly rolled over to Sam and snuggled with her.

"I love you, Sam." Carly whispered.

"I love you, too, Carly." Sam whispered back. Without any further conversation, the two fell asleep as they did the last two times Sam spent the night, Carly to Sam's heartbeat, and Sam to her arms around Carly.

**AN – So, my apologies to the completely uncreative love scene. When it comes to that type of thing, my mind completely lacks creativity. Other than that though, I hope you guys enjoyed the chapter. Ummm, reviews are nice ******


	6. iRemember

iFeel

Chapter 6  
iRemember

Carly woke up the next morning still lying on top of Sam. She lightly inhaled the scent of Sam's hair as she tried to raise herself from the bed. As she sat up, she raised her arms above her head and tried to stretch when she realized she wasn't wearing her shirt anymore. Suddenly her memories from the previous night flashes through her mind. Carly took a deep breath. She looked over her shoulder at the sleeping blond girl.

"Oh no, what did we do last night?" She whispered very quietly to herself. She discretely slipped out of bed and picked her shirt up off the floor. Quietly, she tip-toed out of the room and down to the studio to check on the girls. Strangely, no one was there so she decided to check downstairs instead. Instead of finding her friends, she found her brother instead.

"Hey, Spencer. Where'd the girls go?" Carly asked, taking a seat at the counter.

"Um… well, when I got home only Jordyn and Hanna were still here. So I guess Christina and Kayla left. Then about 15 minutes ago… Hanna left. And you actually just missed Jordyn." Spencer said.

"Oh, okay." Carly automatically replied.

"Are you hungry?" He asked while walking to the refrigerator. Carly looked down at the counter for a second before she replied.

"No. I think I'm just gonna go take a shower." She said. Her feet led her up the stairs and into her room. She saw that Sam was still sleeping. She opened her closet door and grabbed a clean outfit and quietly entered her bathroom that was connected to her bedroom. She proceeded to undress and slip into a warm and relaxing shower.

While Carly was in the shower, Sam had awoken. Her eyes opened, taking in the light of the room. Like Carly, all of the memories of the previous night flashed before her. She wondered if they had been real for a moment then decided they were whenever she discovered her shirt was still on the floor.

"Oh boy." Was all Sam could say. She grabbed her shirt off the floor and put it on. "Oh god, what am I gonna say to Carly?" She wondered for a minute and decided what she would do. _'I'll tell her I don't remember anything past that game of truth or dare last night.'_

Sam lay in Carly's bed until she got out of the shower. She was trying to think of a nonchalant way of saying she didn't remember anything that had happened. After about ten additional minutes of thinking, Carly came out of the bathroom with steam pouring out of the doorway behind her.

"Hey, Carls. Some party last night, huh? Geez, I don't remember anything past that truth or dare game. I know I slept pretty great last night though." Sam smoothly spoke. Carly made a half-grin.

"Yeah… I don't remember anything either. I think I kinda blacked out. I woke up on top of you this morning, though. Well, like I have the last two nights you've spent the night with me." Carly lied.

"Oh yeah?" Sam said. "I wonder what happened. I guess we just crashed?"

"Yeah, I think so, too." Carly's voice drifted a little. She wasn't sure why she was going along with Sam with not remembering what had happened. She remembered what had happened. She remembered very well. Sam's eyes covered Carly, but Carly didn't seem to notice.

Neither girl was aware that the other girl actually did remember what had happened the night before. But for some reason, neither girl was brave enough to admit it. Sam had blatant feelings for Carly. Carly still wasn't completely sure of what was going on, but after last night she had started to put some things together. Carly wanted Sam.

--

Sam had left not long after she had woken up. It was now some time in the early evening. Carly had plans to meet Freddie for a smoothie to talk about his date with Autumn. For once, Carly was the first to arrive and Freddie had been about ten minutes late

"Hey you." Carly said when Freddie finally arrived. "How was last night?" Carly asked anxiously.

"Hey… it went really great… well, it went great until she went all 'Ms. Ackerman' on me." Freddie replied.

"What? Are you serious?" Carly asked shocked.

"Yeah. The girl is totally crazy. I thought she would be normal and nice. But she is a complete nutcase." Freddie continued.

"Oh wow. What did she do that was so nut-case-ish?" Carly asked.

"She picked up my cell phone and asked me who ever single girl in my phone was and what my relationship with them was. Then she asked me my entire relationship history. She also told me that if we dated then I wasn't allowed around any other girl without her." Freddie shook his head.

"Oh wow. That is Ms. Ackerman crazy. So what's going on between you two now?" Carly asked.

"Um. I told her that I wanted to have a relationship but I was in love with someone else." Freddie said.

"Good cover."

"Yeah, tell me about it." Freddie sighed. "So, how was your sleepover?"

"It was a lot of fun." Carly simply said.

"Oh yeah? What'd you guys do?" Freddie asked. Carly's mind flashed through the entire night and lingering on the last event.

"Oh… ya know. Pizza… gossip… truth or dare… drinking…" Carly's voice got quiet. "Having sex with your best friend." The last part was in a very light whisper.

"What?" Freddie thought he misheard her.

"Freddie… I'm so confused! Sam and I… we…" The look on both Carly's face and Freddie's face was indescribable.

"You and Sam…" Freddie couldn't finish the sentence. It took him a second to grasp this concept into his mind. "Please explain.."

"Okay-" Carly started. "This is going to be long, so please don't interrupt." Carly took a quick deep breath before starting. "Okay.. it all started a week ago when Sam told me that she liked someone. Well, for some reason it bothered me and I couldn't figure out why. At the time I didn't think it was Sam that was causing my strange feelings, I thought it was other things that I was just unsure of. Then the other night I talked to Spencer and he made me think about some things… and then I saw this movie that made me feel kinda funny inside.

"Since last week, every time Sam and I have slept in the same bed I have fallen asleep on her chest listening to the sound of her heartbeat. Then Thursday night I was having nightmares… so I called her over and she kept me from having more. She was in my nightmare, she saved me. Or something like that… I still don't understand my dream. Then last night…-" Carly slowed down for a moment to catch her breath. "Last night… I felt something I didn't think I would ever feel with a girl. I thought it would be something I could only feel with guys. When Sam kissed me… I can't really explain it. Then when I felt her touching me… it was something… something special.

"I don't know what's going on in my head right now. But I'm thinking that everything is pointing to Sam. I think I'm feeling something for her that's beyond a friendship level. I'm a little scared. This morning whenever I woke up… I thought it was just a dream… but then I realized it wasn't. I told Sam I didn't remember anything that happened last night, but the truth is… I really did. I'm just scared to tell her and I don't know what to do." Carly halted. She took a minute to breathe and to let the overly shocked Freddie speak.

"Wow. I-" Freddie was unsure of what to say. "I don't know what to say. I'm just so shocked. How do you feel about all of this? I mean really." He asked trying to be a good best friend.

"I don't know, Freddie." Carly said very calmly. "I want to tell Sam… but what if she freaks out?" Carly's eyes dropped to the table.

"As much as I hate to say this… Carly, I think you're in love with Sam. I don't know how Sam would feel about this kind of thing because the last time I checked… I didn't even know she had emotions." Freddie put his hand on hers. "Listen… I'm probably not the best person to give advice… but all I can tell you is to either wait it out and see what she does… maybe she'll remember… or just tell her." Carly smiled.

"Thanks, Freddie." Carly stood up and hugged him. She also placed a friendly kiss on his cheek. She then went home.

--

_Dear Diary,_

_Last night was a lot more than I had expected. I think I figured out what has been going on with me the last week. I think I'm in love with Sam. I'm still a little in shock. And I'm actually really very scared, but it's true. I love her. Last night gave me the experience that told me how much I loved her and needed her. It was so simple, yet complex. I trusted her completely. Now though, I trust her even more. My only worry is that if I tell her, she will leave me. I don't want the first person I've ever loved and slept with to leave me. I don't think I could take that. Especially since she is my best friend._

_Freddie told me I should just tell her. I don't know if I should. This morning she said she couldn't remember anything after a certain time at the party. Of course, I lied and told her that I couldn't remember anything either. I didn't want to lie, but I didn't know what else to say. I don't know if I should talk to her or not. The only thing I really know right now… is that I need to keep her around. I don't know how this is going to work though. Maybe I'll think of something._

_I love you, Sam._

_-Carly Shay_

**AN – so, I know that usually you probably don't figure things out that quickly… but Carly is a sharp cookie so we'll just pretend that she catches on quicker. Anyway, hope you guys enjoyed the updated. Thank you for the wonderful reviews from the previous chapter… keep them coming : )**


	7. iKnow

iFeel

Chapter 7  
iKnow

_Dear Diary,_

_I don't have an actual entry this time… actually, I wrote a song and I wanted to write it in here. This song is for Sam._

_Maybe I'm wrong, you decide  
Should of been strong, yeah I lied  
Nobody gets me like...you  
Couldn't keep hold of you then  
How could I know what you meant  
There was nothing to compare to  
There's a mountain between us  
But there's one thing I'm sure of  
That I know how I feel about you_

CHORUS:  
Can we bring yesterday back around?  
Cause I know how I feel about you now  
I was dumb, I was wrong, I let you down  
But I know how I feel about you now

All that it takes, one more chance  
Don't let our last kiss be our last  
I'm out of my mind, just to show you  
I know everything changes  
I don't care where it takes us  
Cause I know how I feel about you

CHORUS

BRIDGE:  
Not a day, pass me by  
Not a day, pass me by  
When I don't think about you  
And as though, moving on  
Cause I know, you're the one  
And I can't be without you

CHORUS: (2x)

But I know how I feel about you now  
Yeah I know how I feel about you now

_One day I wish she would read this. I think this is the only way I can put my feelings into words. I think this says more than just saying that I love her._

_-Carly Shay_

--

Two weeks had passed by. Nothing _seemed_ to be different between Sam and Carly, although it was obvious that there was. Neither girl could shake the thought of the sleepover at Carly's house. Of course, neither girl was willing to say that they remembered what had happened. Instead, they were both really scared.

Sam sat in her room with her iPod playing softly in her ears. She lied on her bed and stared at the ceiling listening to sappy love songs that she had never liked in her life until that day. The words '_I love you, Carly_' ran through her head, as well as the response that was spoken softly after that phrase… '_I love you, Sam_.'

Sam closed her eyes for a moment. Her mind drifted back to that special night in Carly's bed. She could feel her lips tingling from the thought of kissing Carly that night. She could feel the warmth and softness of Carly's skin on her fingertips. When she thought about the way Carly's breathing flowed while she was inside of her… chill bumps covered her arms and caused her to bite her lip. But when she thought about the way it felt to have Carly sleeping on her chest, her entire body felt a strong sense of warmth and comfort wash over her.

Sam removed her headphones from her ears and turned her iPod off. She rolled over to her side, placing her hands under her head. She closed her eyes. Inside her mind she was screaming.

_I can't be in love with Carly. Carly is my best friend. She's straight. I think. Isn't she? Or is she? I don't even know. Maybe the only reason why we had sex was because we had been drinking. Maybe it meant nothing. She doesn't remember so I guess it's like it never happened. I bet if she remembered then she would freak out and never speak to me again. I don't want her to not talk to me. Then again… she looked like she had remembered whenever she got out of the shower… that girl can't lie to save her life. I think I scared her. Oh, I bet she hates me. Wait, she can't hate me… I know Carly. Don't I?_

_This is so confusing. I need to tell her. I can't tell her. Wait, yes I can. Carly would understand, wouldn't she? I mean… she turned down Freddie for two years before he finally gave up. They're still friends. I'm her best friend though… she would understand. I wonder how she would feel about all of this. I want to kiss her again so badly I can barely stand it. I miss her, too._

Sam's mind continued to run in circle for an hour until she had one final thought. _If she doesn't remember, then I'll remind her. _Sam had her mind set straight on doing something that reminded Carly of the time they shared in Carly's bed.

--

Carly sat on her bed doing her homework. For the first time in her life, she couldn't bring herself to change or wash her sheets. While she wrote down the answered to her math homework, she cuddled to the pillow Sam slept on as it sat in her lap. The pillow smelled faintly of Sam. Carly was wearing her pajama pants she had worn at the sleepover along with one of Sam's t-shirts that she had left at her house. Without even realizing it, Carly had written Sam's name on her paper in place of a number. She quickly erased her name and wrote the number before she had forgotten it.

Carly laid her pencil down on her notebook and allowed herself to fall back onto her pillows while still clutching the Sam-scented pillow. She looked beside her bed at the clock that read 7:30pm. It was Saturday night and Carly was all by herself. No Spencer. No friends. Just her.

"I really wanna call Sam." Carly said to herself. Carly thought about calling her for about twenty minutes before she finally picked up her phone and made the call.

"Hey, Carly." Sam said when she answered her phone.

"Hey, Sam." Carly smiled at the sound of her voice. "What'cha doin'?" She asked.

"Oh, nothing really. Laying on my bed… listening to my mom yell at the cat, but trying to drown her out. So, pretty much bored. How about you?" She said, leaving out what she was really doing.

"Not much. I'm really bored. Spencer left to go to Soko's house again and he won't be home tonight. I'm just kinda lonely." Carly said.

"Oh. Do you… want some company?" Sam wondered. "Cause… I'm not doing anything tonight…"

"I'd love that!" Carly said quickly. "I have to take a shower, so I'll see you in a little bit then?"

"Yeah, I'll be over in a few minutes." They both hung up their phones.

Carly tossed her cell phone down and flopped back down on her bed. She pulled the pillow over her faced and happily screamed into it. After a few minutes, she remembered that she needed a shower before Sam came over. She figured she would still be in the shower by the time Sam came over so she went downstairs and unlocked the door. She then proceeded to take her shower.

About five minutes after Carly had gotten into the shower, Sam came in. She could hear the shower running as she walked in, so she decided to just go up to Carly's room and wait. When she got to her room she took a seat on her bed. She started messing with the stuff that Carly left before she jumped into her shower. On her bed was her notebook, math book, and her diary.

Sam didn't know that it was Carly's diary until after she read half of the entry she had written earlier. She read the song Carly had written to her and tried to keep herself from crying. The water still ran in her bathroom. Sam flipped back a few pages and found the entry she had written about her sleepover. Carly remembered. Carly loved Sam but was too afraid to tell her.

"Oh my god." Sam hadn't even heard the bathroom door open when she saw Carly standing there staring at her with a frightened look on her face. "Sam, what are you doing?!" Carly ran over to her and grabbed her diary.

"I was just…"

**AN – The song is from the iCarly soundtrack. It's sung by Miranda Cosgrove and its title is "About You Now"… I was listening to it and thought it seemed fitting. Hope you guys enjoyed. : ) please review. (And thank you to the ones who keep giving me good reviews!) Hope the cliffhanger isn't too much for you guys… haha. The next chapter will be the last chapter. So prepare yourselves. : )**


	8. iFeel

iFeel

Chapter 8  
iFeel

"I was just…" Sam started realizing that she had no idea what to say. Her best friend just caught her reading her diary.

"You were just what?! Reading my diary?" Carly sat her diary down on her dresser. "How could you do that, Sam? That's my DIARY! It's personal! How could you?" Carly clutched tightly to the towel she was wearing while she tried to fight back tears of frustration and embarrassment.

"Carly, I didn't mean to… I mean… I saw it open… I didn't know it was your diary… and I saw that song you wrote… I shouldn't have read it, I'm sorry." Sam put her face down in her hands and started crying because her best friend was yelling at her. "Please don't hate me for invading your privacy, Carly." She muffled through her hands.

"Please don't hate you? You just ready my diary! Best friend's don't read each other's diaries without permission! How can I even trust you if you read into my personal thoughts that you weren't invited to read?" Carly started pacing in circles not knowing what to do. Then she looked at Sam and realized she was crying. "Sam?" Carly's voice got calmer.

"What?" Sam continued to cry.

"Sam, why are you crying?" Even though Carly was furious at Sam, she was still her best friend and didn't want to see her crying.

"Carly, I need to tell you something-" Sam started.

"Before you start… Sam, is this about my diary?" Carly's voice softened.

"No. Well… kinda. Just listen." Carly nodded. "Carly, I lied to you."

"You lied to me?" Carly looked confused. "What did you lie to me about? I'm confused."

"Carls. I lied when I said I didn't remember what happened at your sleepover two weeks ago. I remember everything. I didn't know what to say the next morning, so I just pretended like I didn't remember." Sam stopped crying and looked at Carly. For a minute there was no talking. Carly just stared at Sam's eyes trying to figure out what was going on in her head and Sam did the same to Carly's eyes.

"Sam, I lied too. I said I didn't remember because you said that you didn't." Carly admitted.

"I know." Sam whispered. The two sat in silence for a few minutes. "I like that song you wrote." Sam continued to talk very softly and barely audible.

"You did?" Carly whispered back. She wasn't feeling angry anymore, just quiet.

"Yeah." Sam said. "Carly…"

"Sam…"

"I love you." They both said at the same time. Talking was a little difficult for both of them after that shared phrase.

"Sam, why didn't you tell me?"Carly asked.

"I was scared you would freak out. I thought you were straight, but things confused me after that night." Sam shrugged, not being able to keep eye contact.

"I can understand that. I thought I was straight, too. I don't really know what I am right now." Carly brushed Sam's hair behind her ear with her left hand.

"Why didn't you tell me?" Sam looked up in wonderment.

"I thought you liked some guy. I wasn't actually sure that I had feelings for you until that night we…" Carly stopped and just looked at Sam for a moment. When Sam wasn't looking, she leaned over and placed a gentle kiss on Sam's cheek. "I thought it only happened because we were drinking… but then I realized that neither of us were drunk." Sam's eyes met hers. "I thought it meant nothing at first… when you were kissing me. But when things started to get a little steamy, I couldn't think clearly anymore and I felt a ball of passion explode inside of me. I've never felt anything like that before. You set my mind into a stage of "fairytale bliss" but the great thing is, this isn't a fairytale. I knew there was something going on that was weird for a week before that, but I couldn't figure out what. I know what it was now. I was feeling weird because I was jealous that you wanted someone that wasn't me. Well, I thought you wanted someone other than me."

"So, the stuff in your diary is true then?" Sam asked.

"Yes, Sam. You're the one I've been in love with all of this time. Now that I really actually think about it though, I think I've been in love with you for maybe 2 years. I guess it really is true that you can fall in love without even knowing it." Carly smiled and placed her hand on top of Sam's.

"Okay, my turn again. Carly… I fell in love with you the first time I saw you." Sam admitted.

"Are you serious? We've been friends since elementary school and you've managed to keep this a secret for that long?" Sam nodded.

"Pretty crazy isn't it? Why do you think I've always been so mean to Freddie? I didn't want him to have _my_ girl." Sam stopped talking for a moment, realizing she had just called Carly her girl.

"Your girl?" Carly asked, smiling. Sam nodded her head.

"My girl." Sam leaned over and kissed Carly. Carly placed her hand on the side of Sam's face and continued the kiss. When the kiss ended Carly spoke.

"I guess I should get some clothes on." She gestured down to the towel.

"Says who?" Sam raised her eyebrow. Carly grinned.

"Not me." Carly stood up and walked over to her door. She flipped a switch that triggered a bunch of Christmas lights to turn on. She flipped off the over head light causing the room to be lightly lit. Carly reached out her hand for Sam to come to her. Sam complied.

The second Sam got to Carly she was pulled into the most passionate kiss either girl has ever experienced. Carly's towel was fighting to stay on, but Sam ended the war. Carly's hands pushed up underneath Sam's shirt and slipping it over her head and ending on the floor. Their lips stayed locked as Carly continued to expose Sam. Sam was barefoot. Her jeans slammed to the floor, along with her underwear and convertible bra.

This time, Carly was the aggressor. She pushed Sam onto the bed with a lot of force, pulling a devious smile out of Sam who enjoyed being dominated over. Carly climbed on top of Sam, leaning down to place a soft kiss on her lips. Her kisses traveled across Sam's jaw line. Her teeth met Sam's ear and began to lightly nibble causing a few interruptions in Sam's breathing. Carly's fingernails were short, but they were still long enough to lightly scratch over Sam's stomach causing her body to quiver at the touch.

Carly kissed Sam again, biting her lip this time. Their mouths opened and tongues touched, almost like they were wrestling. Carly grabbed hold of Sam's hands and pushed them above her head. She kissed down to Sam's neck and made a few biting and sucking notions. Sam tried to keep her breathing calm even though she was very much being turned on by her best friend. Carly's lips kissed down Sam's chest and over her breasts, lightly biting them as she passed over. She continued down her torso kissing every inch of skin. She released Sam's hands and ran her fingernails down Sam's sides and making her stomach muscles tighten.

She continued to kiss down her body until she reached the bottom of Sam's stomach. Sam put her hand on Carly's shoulder and pulled her up to her face-to-face. Carly's hand slipped into Sam's private territory. Upon entering, Sam made a small squeal. The two got caught up in a very passionate kiss that only seemed to become more and more passion-fueled as Carly pulled and pushed in and out of Sam. The blond girl's chest rose and fell quickly as she could barely catch her own breath in between moaning and kissing. Carly broke the kiss, moving her head to Sam's neck, allowing her teeth and lips to take turns biting and sucking on her skin. Sam moved her hand on top of Carly's which quickly became laced with hers.

A rush of fluid exited Sam as she let out a final scream and allowed her entire body to relax for a moment. Carly placed a gentle kiss on her lips as Sam put her arms around her pulling her close. After a few moments whenever Sam caught her breath she decided it was her turn to dominate and do all of the same things to Carly.

--

The two relaxed in Carly's bed. Carly lay on top of Sam like always and Sam contently had her arms wrapped around her girl.

"Sam?" Carly spoke as she listened to the calmness of Sam's heartbeat.

"What?" She said very sweetly. Sam rubbed Carly's hair, putting her in an even more relaxed state.

"Sam, does this make us gay?" Carly asked.

"I don't know. I guess. Why?" Sam continued to play with her hair.

"I don't know. If this means we're gay… does this also mean I'm your girlfriend now?" Carly raised her head a little to place a kiss on Sam's throat.

"Only if I'm your girlfriend, too. Is that what you want Carly?" Sam returned the kiss on her forehead.

"Sam, I only want you."

"And I only want you." With that said the two girls shared one last kiss and lied together until they fell asleep.

**AN – Well, I hope you guys liked the story. And I hope it ended in a way all of you like : ) Up next will be the little epilogue since I don't really want to write a sequel at risk of losing interest or becoming so ADD that I don't finish it. So, if you liked this story, please leave me nice reviews to make me smile : )**


	9. Epilogue

iFeel

Epilogue

Carly and Sam came out of the closet at school shortly after their getting together. Sam's mom kicked her out due to her homophobia and psychosis. Spencer and Freddie were both strangely happy for the two. Because of Carly, Sam stayed out of trouble… or at least the jail kind of trouble.

After about two years of being together things started to get a little rough because of graduating high school and Carly wanting to go to college. They worked it out and Sam actually ended up going to college and excelling as well as Carly did.

After college gay marriage was finally legalized and the two got married. Sam became a doctor so she could help people instead of hurt them. Carly became a teacher. Carly eventually got pregnant and had two daughters, Rain and Starr. Sam and Carly became very happy parents.

Next week will be their 35 anniversary upon getting together. Even though things may have gotten shaky here and there, these two discovered what true love actually was… each other.

**AN – Okay, so since this story is finished… I'm probably going to want to write another one soon. Any story ideas for this pairing? : )**


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